Mid-Life Leadership

I left corporate America not because I was disgruntled or angry at the system. Not because my company didn't appreciate me or because I felt under-valued. And obviously not for better compensation since I haven't had a paycheck in almost 2 years.

I left because I was struggling with alignment.

My heart, mind, body and spirit were splintered and no longer moving in the same directions. I felt chaos all around me, and was struggling to keep up. In my darkest times, I felt broken, confused, bewildered and lost. I had everything the American Dream promises... education, success, material possessions, family, friends, money, etc., but I was mentally exhausted, overwhelmed, a little jaded and a far cry from happy.

I thought I was losing my mind. "What's wrong with me?" - was a common recurring thought.

A Walk In My Shoes...

Every rung on the corporate ladder I climbed was greeted with a mixture of pride, fear, excitement and dread. Talk about incongruencies. I was thrilled to be recognized, but afraid of being a fraud. I wanted the title, raise and team, but was legitimately afraid of the demands. Filled with self-doubt and wondering whether I would be able to handle the bureaucracy, stress, politics and pace, I climbed...not because I wanted it, but because everyone expected it of me.

With success comes more responsibility, more expectations, and loads more pressure.

I was taught that climbing was respectable; achievement was the measure of success. I was expected to fall in line and do my duty. Sadly, I conflated success with being loveable. Telling myself, "If I just reach XYZ status, then I'll be good enough." To earn love, I had to prove myself worthy. I have no idea if male executives walk this same tightrope, but I can tell you it's a lonely place to be. I know so MANY WOMEN who are trying to hold it together with Scotch tape when Gorilla glue is warranted.

In my early 40s, I went through 3 back-to-back miscarriages, was 20-30 pounds overweight, and suffered with anxiety & depression, digestive issues, insomnia, brain fog, roaming aches & pains, acne, menstrual cycle discomfort and acid reflux. I had irrational mood swings, and no longer recognized myself. 

I didn't feel good in my own skin, and constantly felt like I was letting someone down... kids, partner, business collaborators, team, clients, etc. Someone was always getting the short end of the stick because I wasn't present. If I was working, I was also thinking about which child needed to be where or which bills and doctor's appointments were coming up. If it was family time, it wasn't unusual for me to be on calls with clients or working long hours. And don't get me started on household chores. Let's just say I wasn't winning any awards for the cleanest house during this time. Hustling and juggling was the norm, but I was running on fumes and my resource pool was almost empty.

Here's the deal. My education, social circles, corporate wellness programs and upbringing left me ill-equipped to understand and manage the onslaught of distractions, demands, stress and hormone changes I was experiencing in my early 40s. I hit a wall. Things that had previously worked to motivate, calm or help me maintain balance, were no longer effective. I needed a new program - a system upgrade - to help me through this next phase, and had no clue how to get it or squeeze it into my already packed schedule.

Women Leaders in Their 40s 

The above isn't unique to me. As I've opened up about my own mental and physical health struggles, more women have come forward to share their experiences and stories. Below is a snapshot of some common phrases from the women I work with in my Executive Wellness Coaching practice: 

• "I don't have the energy I used to."

• "I'm less patient with everyone. Things that I used to be able to blow off irritate me so much more now, and I'm way more reactive."

• "I work out, watch what I eat, and I'm still gaining weight. I feel so uncomfortable in my clothes and don't know what to do."

• "I'm tired all the time and feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions. My kids have activities every day of the week, and my meetings begin during my morning commute and can't put down work in time to make dinner. I have zero time for myself."

• "My anxiety has a life of its own these days; I worry about everything. I used to be fearless."

• "I feel like someone hijacked my emotions. One minute things are fine and the next thing I know, I'm on the verge of tears and shaking with anger. I can go from 0-100 in a nanosecond."

So what's happening during this time that suddenly turns our world upside down? PERIMENOPAUSE!

Yes... it's real and is hugely disruptive if you aren't equipped with the tools and knowledge for managing the transition. Women are at the top of their game professionally in their 40s and 50s, but we are also caring for children, the household and aging parents. That's not to say men aren't involved. However, the bulk of unpaid work is still falling on women. So in addition to more pressure and responsibility in the office, we are also taking on more at home. Add to this our dwindling sex hormones, decreases in muscle, bone & brain mass, and a significant increase in inflammation and cortisol...it's no wonder we are one ask away from blowing up.

This time feels chaotic and often when we seek answers from our team of medical professionals, we are dismissed or told, "Everything looks normal." I saw three doctors who told me to take a variety of over-the-counter and prescription medications to manage various symptoms, but no one could tell me why it was occuring. I legitimately felt like a crazy person because they minimized my discomfort and told me, "This is part of aging".

The Road Less Traveled

I didn't accept these answers and spent countless hours researching. I implemented several lifestyle changes that dramatically improved my mental health which then gave me agency to address my physical ailments. I wanted an all-natural path back to wholeness and discovered it while studying Ayurveda, a medical practice out of India that focuses on preventative care. I also began to learn loads more about the impact of stress on the female body, and just how detrimental it is. Chronic stress with its corresponding increase in cortisol is a leading contributor to obesity, insulin resistance, high blood pressure & cholesterol, and perimenopausal symptoms.

In addition, I learned about the biochemical changes in the female body and how the food we consume directly impacts our mood, cognitive performance, and the quality of our cycle, hormones, and transition into menopause. This was a game changer and a pivotal moment in my return to vitality! I learned how to leverage food as medicine and finally understood why my body was in distress. I had answers! The program I engineered for myself has improved every aspect of my life. I have ZERO symptoms and feel the best I have ever felt (this includes my 20s.)

Being hugely impressed with the transformation, I wondered why it took countless hours of determined research for me to discover what should be readily available. 

Why don't more women know about these tools? Why has our society normalized female discomfort?

For starters, you can't patent food or a combination of movement and diet. No one can make money on lifestyle changes. Another reason is that in America's sick-care system, women are put on pharmaceuticals in the form of birth control pills, patches and IUDs in their teens and early 20s which starts the cycle of dependency on prescriptions. Before our brains are even fully developed, we're indoctrinated into a system that promotes the use of chemical interventions leading to side effects and long term health changes. We are told doctors have the answers, and the fear of health issues or unwanted pregnancy keeps us coming back for more. By the time we hit our 40s and aren't nearly as resilient as we once were, we learn that our doctors are woefully under-educated about perimenopause and menopause and consequently are given even more medications or dismissed altogether. 

Here's the rub...we aren't getting any better.

The final piece of this equation? Sadly, the time it would take a doctor to support an all-natural protocol is more than insurance covers. Nutrition guidance, stress management support, and other forms of prevention aren't taught in medical school and aren't billable. Much like dementia, menopause symptoms are preventable, but our medical system doesn't support research or funding of programs that focus on lifestyle changes because it's not in the best interests of Big Pharma & Big Insurance who lobby Capitol Hill regularly. Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAMs) like Ayurveda, Functional Diagnostic Nutrition, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Homeopathy and so many other preventative care practices aren't covered by insurance.

My Purpose

I left the comfort of a paycheck and benefits, because I wanted to share my hard-won health & well-being lessons. My mission is to accelerate a path toward wholeness and provide access to important information so others, particularly executive women, don't feel as lost, bewildered and jaded as I did when facing mid-life health concerns and mental health distress.

Utilizing Ayurveda, movement and stress management practices, I craft programs for corporations and individuals that restore health, purpose and alignment all naturally. The awesome thing about my work is that once you have the principles and a basic understanding of the foundation, you can manage your own health. My goal is to provide access to tools, lectures, food and a sacred spaces for practice so YOU can eventually address the root cause of your symptoms all on your own. 

If my story resonates and you find yourself feeling less like you and more like a crazed monster, join me for a webinar or drop me a note. You aren't alone and it's important to know you have support. Suffering is optional and not required.